I loved your honest history of talking to God and keeping him in various modes of conversation. I am new to even using the word God. I have reached an elderly age and feel lucky and guided by a force beyond my doing which I ascribe to years of gratitude for being a part of many caring groups and for
constant observation of the light in the universe out my window through the years-- since I was six when I became aware of an enormous force surrounding me--we had just moved to New York City. For the past few years I have followed a note given to me by a stranger who believed in honest speech: ask yourself when you need to respond in a difficult situation: "Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? DB
As I sit here in hospital, having been told last night that I have either lymphoma or lung cancer, I read your post with a new sensitivity Mark. I’ve been practicing CP for 25 years, 30 minutes twice a day but I too have missed a core connection with God. A traumatic childhood and the Roman Catholic Church of the 50’s has placed a blockage in my heart that simply hasn’t been removed. As I now approach what could be the end of this journey I so long for that connection of which Cynthia speaks. May it come my Lord. May it come. Thank you for posting.
This was a powerful and wonderfully vulnerable post, Mark. It touched my heart. It spoke to some of my yearnings. And did so in an open and creative way. Many, many thanks.
I, too, fled evangelicalism and buddy Jesus saving me from evil-daddy God and landed at Harvard Div. 1990-1992. I learned a lot about Wicca, astrology, and earth-based spiritualities along with gay liberation theology (which morphed into Queer Theology). The petitions I signed were for the repeal of sodomy laws. Sex between men was illegal in Massachusetts; we weren't thinking about marriage! I ran into Cynthia Bourgeault later in my journey and tried the Centering Prayer thing. Then I decided that God was way too big to care about entering me, and my devotional practice became more like mindfulness and alignment with God's purposes in the world as revealed in the person, teachings, and work of Jesus. And now, I find I'm really needing to chat with Jesus more these days. I can't wait to see what your next stop will be in part two of this reflection. I might be able to get some ideas on what to add to my prayer repertoire (while holding onto the good stuff and leaving the bad firmly in my past).
Wow, Jon - what a journey you've been on! Thanks for commenting and sharing a bit of it. Fun to know that HDS was an exploratory haven for the both of us, too.
I enjoyed this Mark. I've stopped in some of the same inns along the way; Evangelicalism to Liberation Theology to Buddhist Mindfulness to Celtic Creation spirituality. Looking forward to reading your next piece on St. Theresa of Avila.
Minus the evangelical past, I feel this trip. It feels familiar. I am really looking forward to Part 2. Thanks as always, Mark.
Thanks and glad to hear this resonates, Mary.
I loved your honest history of talking to God and keeping him in various modes of conversation. I am new to even using the word God. I have reached an elderly age and feel lucky and guided by a force beyond my doing which I ascribe to years of gratitude for being a part of many caring groups and for
constant observation of the light in the universe out my window through the years-- since I was six when I became aware of an enormous force surrounding me--we had just moved to New York City. For the past few years I have followed a note given to me by a stranger who believed in honest speech: ask yourself when you need to respond in a difficult situation: "Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? DB
Wonderful to hear about your ongoing awareness of enormous presence, and such simple and helpful questions!
As I sit here in hospital, having been told last night that I have either lymphoma or lung cancer, I read your post with a new sensitivity Mark. I’ve been practicing CP for 25 years, 30 minutes twice a day but I too have missed a core connection with God. A traumatic childhood and the Roman Catholic Church of the 50’s has placed a blockage in my heart that simply hasn’t been removed. As I now approach what could be the end of this journey I so long for that connection of which Cynthia speaks. May it come my Lord. May it come. Thank you for posting.
Brian, I'll pray for your heart's opening, and for you as you sit with the news of your health. Very sorry to hear it, and thanks so much for sharing.
This was a powerful and wonderfully vulnerable post, Mark. It touched my heart. It spoke to some of my yearnings. And did so in an open and creative way. Many, many thanks.
James
I'm so glad to hear that, James - thanks for your comment and hope you are well!
I, too, fled evangelicalism and buddy Jesus saving me from evil-daddy God and landed at Harvard Div. 1990-1992. I learned a lot about Wicca, astrology, and earth-based spiritualities along with gay liberation theology (which morphed into Queer Theology). The petitions I signed were for the repeal of sodomy laws. Sex between men was illegal in Massachusetts; we weren't thinking about marriage! I ran into Cynthia Bourgeault later in my journey and tried the Centering Prayer thing. Then I decided that God was way too big to care about entering me, and my devotional practice became more like mindfulness and alignment with God's purposes in the world as revealed in the person, teachings, and work of Jesus. And now, I find I'm really needing to chat with Jesus more these days. I can't wait to see what your next stop will be in part two of this reflection. I might be able to get some ideas on what to add to my prayer repertoire (while holding onto the good stuff and leaving the bad firmly in my past).
Wow, Jon - what a journey you've been on! Thanks for commenting and sharing a bit of it. Fun to know that HDS was an exploratory haven for the both of us, too.
I enjoyed this Mark. I've stopped in some of the same inns along the way; Evangelicalism to Liberation Theology to Buddhist Mindfulness to Celtic Creation spirituality. Looking forward to reading your next piece on St. Theresa of Avila.
Hi Todd - many thanks and hello from a similar traveling road!
Thanks, Deb!