Dear friends,
I’ve been in a busy season. Between kid sports, family commitments, work, and finishing up a writing project (more below), my days feel compressed and fly by. Before I know it, the New England day is at its earlier close, and it’s time to sleep and do it again. Don’t get me wrong, mine is a joyful life and I wouldn’t trade its full family and community-centric flow for anything. But, as any parent knows, it’s a lot. And as someone on a contemplative path, such seasons of responsibility can sometimes feel overwhelming, as if I’m never quite able to enjoy the slower pace and extended silences that a contemplative life promises to bring.
For me, though, busy and contemplative are not opposites. I also don’t believe that greener contemplative pastures are up ahead, say, when the kids go to college and I’m an empty-nester. Instead, the busy and contemplative parts of myself need each other. I approach my contemplative practices in these months and years as my soul’s daily and necessary rescue mission. My morning meditation sit snatches me out of the constant effort to accomplish tasks, holds me in Divine Presence and says, “Stay here and be loved for a while!” Chanting Psalms at different hours helps me maintain a heart-centered, gentle awareness of God throughout the day. A faster shuffle from one thing to the other gradually increases my anxiety and, by extension, my irritability—but when I sit myself down for my afternoon meditation, it’s sometimes like ramming a stick into bicycle spokes. I feel myself flying over the day’s handlebars, but I land on my butt. I stay there and eventually return to myself.
I have my so-called “Rule of Life” to thank and lean on. My “Rule of Life” is a daily commitment to contemplative practice that I share with my dispersed “new monastic” community. Founded by the Center for Spiritual Imagination, based in Long Island through the Garden City Episcopal Cathedral, each person in my small group community has committed to a particular rhythm of prayer, even and especially amidst the manifold duties of our lives. From morning psalms to daily silence, prayerful reading of snippets of Scripture and mystical texts, the Ignatian Examen and monthly “desert days” of solitude (or, in my case, portions of days), these practices that keep my soul afloat in unsteady times.
The concept of a “Rule of Life” originates in monastic communities that gathered and wrote up their community commitments to provide structure and intention. The Benedictine Rule of Life is a practical manual to order monastic life that specifies such things as when to pray Psalms and how many to sing. It also covers things like how to handle conflict and minute elements of the day, such as how monks should arrange their sleeping. The Franciscan Rule of Life is much shorter and more radical, calling each Franciscan friar to give up possessions and live from itinerant begging.
I’ve found it tremendously meaningful and grounding to participate in an adapted community commitment for busy people outside monasteries who are seeking God through contemplation. This rhythm sets me free for greater joy, presence, and kindness in my relationships. I still become anxious and irritable, of course, but the Rule of Life is there to catch me and set me on track when I wander off. I’m reminded of Martin Luther’s quip that he had so much to do that he had to pray more, not less. That’s certainly true for me.
How about you? What keeps your soul humming amidst your many pressing life demands? What commitments do you have that help you live the life of depth that you intend?
Update: I also have a few updates to share. The first is the exciting news that I’ve contracted for my first book! This project has taken up most of my extra time (hence the fewer posts here on Substack). I’ll update you with many more details when the time is right.
The second is that I’ll be restructuring this Substack. I’ll still continue the monthly Revelations commentary, but I’ll add a weekly column called the holy ordinary. It will cover the mystical dimensions of ordinary life and will be in similar spirit to the above. By subscribing, you are already automatically added both to the weekly column and to Revelations posts (you can also manage your Substack subscriptions such that you subscribe only to one and not the other—I leave that to you). I’ll also throw in periodic movie or book reviews. Eventually, this Substack will move to a subscription model, offering free content to some and full content to paying subscribers. I’m going to see how things go in the next few months and will keep you posted. Of course, I welcome any of your thoughts and feedback (you can simply reply to this email and I will receive it).